Below is a work-in-progress passage from my novel Ex:Urbia.

 Along With Ecstasy

I pass a crumpled pickup on the road tonight heading home from the city. I had given a dinner speech at the Center City Marriott on contract fund management. Red and blue police lights spin in the darkness, a slight fog enshrouds distant traffic lights candied lime, lemon and cherry — an awful combination. One person lies on the ground, another staggers toward the police car. It is fragility that drives us inward at moments like this. We see danger, or are reminded of death, and retreat seems the only option. Retreat into the mind. Retreat into fear. And yet, how precious, anyway, this worthless life. It’s all we have. I am Julia Davenport and the world revolves around me the same way it does around you.

Fear was already beating in my chest when I stepped onto the sidewalk away from the shimmering lights that line the driveway to the Marriott after talking about money and public works projects for an hour. I know it was fear. I don’t like that feeling. I was afraid that first night with Danny. I was afraid my first day at work. I am afraid so much of the time. I feel okay by myself at the mall or driving. Being alone out in public has that effect on me. I like Continue reading →